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A Dialogue About Dating with Kendra Martin
While sitting around with my sisters, the subject of relationships came up as it often does. I love these talks because my sisters are a beautiful mix of ages, sexual preferences, and experiences. The dialogue we had was so interesting, that I thought I’d share it with you and get your thoughts.
We discussed women dating younger men – someone at least ten years younger. I was surprised and intrigued that each of them had indulged in such behavior. (Lol) I asked what drew them towards dating younger men (or women), and they gave me a variety of answers.
The first answer, not too shockingly, was sex. We all agreed that sex is the primary reason most women date younger people. One of my sisters confirmed this by saying, “Those my age can’t keep up with me.” Another added, “I love their energy! Younger men keep me young!” The majority of them also said dating a younger person is exciting and adventurous. Lastly, the consensus was that since most younger people are more progressive in their thinking, dating younger keeps them stimulated intellectually.
I then asked about the disadvantages.
They mentioned that it could be difficult keeping up with the energy or sexual needs of a younger person. One sister said, “Dating a younger man caused me to have security issues I’d never experienced before. Seeing him eye younger women was unsettling.” Another laughed and said, “Girl! He wanted me to do things I’d never done before. And even though it was out of my comfort zone, I did some of them!”
We all laughed at her.
She was even open enough to share with us that she experienced oral sex at new levels and even tried anal sex.
Since my sister’s responses to this topic were so interesting, I decided to ask a few men if dating an older woman was something they’d consider. I asked six men, and they all said they would absolutely date an older woman. That shocked me – guess I’ve been living under a rock. (Lol)
The fellows said dating an older woman has many benefits, such as her children are usually grown up, and she no longer has a period. They also felt that because most older women have indulged in a lot of sex, they probably have very few inhibitions. Not to mention, she can no longer get pregnant.
What are your thoughts about what we discussed? As a woman, would you consider dating younger? Likewise, gentlemen, would you consider dating older? What other benefits or disadvantages can you add to our discussion? Let me know below in the comment section. I’m excited to see your thoughts!
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3 Responses
In my experience, from the ones I have personally shared and from the ones that have been shared to me…. Simply, dating older or younger is purely based on that person’s mind and what mentally and sexually stimulates them.
I believe woman date older for more than sex. They date older for security. They aim here hoping he is out of his wild prime phase and ready to settle. And also has had time to secure himself financially. There are some who simply want someone who is seasoned with sex, so a woman doesn’t have to tell them what to do but can expect he knows how to stroke his guitar. Honestly, it’s all a mental thing for me. Either the young woman has a young man she is currently in a relationship and seeks and wants to explore older because it’s something new and opposite. Or the older woman wants to experience a young man due to what she lacks in her partner.
Either way the story goes. It’s a different story than what we are currently living. That is what makes it arousing. Age is purely a number, and intimacy is purely mental. When we read on other woman’s experiences and desires we lust for it. Then once we get it and we are satisfied with the adventure we tie the age into being the factor for our rejuvenation. When, it was in us all long. That person didn’t make us more of a freak, they woke up that inner freak in us.
So, age doesn’t mean much to me. It’s like drinking a Red Bull and expecting it to give you wings. Alll mental. I am pretty sure I can reach the same climaxes from the younger fella or the older if they stimulate my mental right.
Hey Q,
I loved your reply. It’s super insightful. You made some really great points.
I personally can concur with your thoughts on dating older men. For me, sex would probably be the last reason. (lol) I value more, their security. My number one reason is what I can learn from being with them, especially if our mindsets are already so similar. I may be seasoned in an area and they may be more seasoned in another. They tend to be more settled down, as well as, more focused on growing financially… a family, a business… what ever their focus is on. They definitely seem to also be much more nurturing, as well. Lastly, their levels of compassion and concern seems to develop with age.
I love your “Red Bull… it doesn’t really give you wings,” analogy. (lol) That was awesome. 🖤
Thank you Q for responding…
So you believe the age of the lover is irrelevant. You’re probably right about that. I think women of a certain age, having had men in their 20’s through 60’s decide on a type they like best. (At least this is what they told me…lol). And I think other women don’t change over the years. If they liked men in their 40’s twenty years ago, they still like them even when that woman is in her 60’s.
But other women, like you said, aren’t caught up in age. He just needs to stimulate her mentally and sexually. You also said some women date older for security. I agree, but I think they’re usually young women. And let’s be clear that some men are also looking for security. So, with all that said, I agree with you that there are a variety of reasons why people date who they date. Thank you Q
Kendra